(Topic): “ The Handless Maiden” Stage two, The Dismemberment.
“tears make us conscious”.
Tears cleanse the palette, it releases the frustration, guilt, fear, the pains of our paths that catch us like thorns. They do not mend, but open the door to the process of discovery.
“The women of the story is not old, not sick, yet she must be dismantled for she can not be the way she has been anymore”.
We all come to these points, where we make, we carve a choice into our lives. To leave everything we know behind and embrace a second life; as Eve did in the story of the forbidden apple. Denying the known, the stability and comfort to find her way by her own means.; opening the gates of the unknown. I believe in these breaths we have the only real moments we actually experience fully. The world is silent and we shift our consciously, yet in a trance contort and shift realities. Giving in and letting go, as we are brought low we gain the space to reach farther than before.
“in fairytales there is a leitmotif called the ‘thrown object’. The heroine who is being pursued takes a magical comb from her hair and throws it down behind her. Where it grows into a forest of trees so thick you couldn’t poke a pitchfork between them. Or the heroine has a little vial of water, which she uncorks, sprinkling its contents behind her as she runs. The droplets turn into a flood, effectively slowing her pursuer”.
It took a long time for me to uncover the Russian fable of ‘Baba Yaga’. As a child the story’s images stuck with me. Craving (as I still do) fantasy, as a child I clung to the few tales I had. For years I could only refer to it as the Hansel and Gretel-ish tale with the witch and the house on chicken legs. I remembered the forest and the girl brushing the mattes out of cat’s fur in the bathroom, oiling the hinges for the fence and feeding the dog her crust of bread. Yet the name and the whole of the story were floating out of range. I’m not sure if this story was the stem of my love of witty kind-hearted women, but nonetheless any reference of Baba Yaga gets my gears turning.
Page #: 486
Vibrant adj. throbbing, bright and exciting.
Vice n. defect, fault.
Vicarious adj. acting as a substitute.
Vex v. irritate.
Definition: Viable adj. Capable of maintaining separate existence, worthwhile.
B) Today was day one for my "Handless Maiden" journey. One of the books i’m currently reading "Women Who Run With the Wolves", is filled with stories and myths of the wild women archetype. A friend gave this tattered book to me 3 ish years ago. After i read the "skeleton woman" story about life/death/rebirth i knew it was special.
I’ve just recently jumped back in, currently on ch. 14 Initiation into the underground forest. Each chapter has a focal myth or story that it then deconstructs into more something more coherent to masticate. It tells each story by telling stories that describe… that story. It’s quiet like nothing i’ve ever ran across before. And, completely up my alley, since it’s filled with fairy tales written as once known facts.
Anyways, This chapter’s story is ‘The Handless Maiden” and is broken into seven sections; each of which i will cover in the following 6 days. After the story i suppose i will know what Clarissa Estes means by the underground forest, which is very exciting.
(Topic): The Handless Maiden. Part one.
“I was once of the world, yet I am not of this world”.
“ the poorest bargain of our lives is the one we make when we forfeit our deep knowing life for one that is far more frail; when we give up our teeth, our claws, our sense, our scent; when we surrender our wild natures for a promise of something that seems rich but turns out to be hallow”.
Tracing a shadow, like a snapshot. Breaking the moment by being. The irony of our stories, even when reliving them we are creating new chapters. ‘somewhere a clock is ticking,’ there is an unbridled beauty in the constant fermiliar. When we try to lie down traps to hold the moment, to capture a feeling we are always met with faulty knots. Tried and true, there is no holding on. “beware…there is poison in standing water” -blake, every ripple has its’ run. You can ride it to shore but eventually you must learn to sail on your own winds. Embrace the chaos. Tread lightly and breathe deeply.
“her metamorphosis has no metabolism”.
“deep in the wintry parts of our minds, we are hardy stock and know there is no such thing as a work-free transformation. We know that we will have to burn the ground in one way or another, and then sit right in the ashes of who we once thought we were and go on from there”.
Ragnarok: twilight of the gods.
Fey adj. fated to die, full of whimsical beliefs.
Fetter n. shackle for the feet. v. to put in chains.
Definition: Fiducial adj. based on trust without collateral. Taken as a standard of reference.
Ex. A fiducial bond, fettered to one another like hands and mouth.
Etymology: 1570. L. fiducialis “reliable” from fiducia “trust”.
(Topic): La selva subterranean: Initiation in the underground forest.
“…(Jung) participation mystique,…(Freud) Projective identification,…(storytellers) sympathetic magic, the ability of the mind to step away…and merge with another reality.”
It’s all a fairytale.
Living under a universal scale.
Endurance: The Handless Maiden.
“endurance sounds as thought it means ’to continue with out cessation’ and while this is an occasional part of the tasks underlying the tale, the word endurance also means “to harden, to make sturdy, to make robust, to strengthen,’ …we don’t just go on to go on. Endurance means we are making something”.
Though it’s only a moment, a pebble in the stream. There is worth in that ripple. A story, a detail appreciated somewhere. For every fragment of a time that we actually see there are a dozen that we feel.
Just as personable as a bowl of water in a busy room, we absorb everything. Perhaps we are noticed, ignored or used, left refreshed or in need of change; we matter, we take as we give. Lend as we lean. Always building.
(Word): (Endurance). Covetous.
Page #: 226 Random House: Crossword Puzzle Dictionary, second edition.
Cove n. A bay in a shoreline.
Courtly Adj. With refined manners, insincerely polite.
Definition: Covetous Adj. yearn to have, a longing for something that is possessed by another.
Ex. ‘Covetous Creature’ JOJ.
Synonym: avaricious, envious.
Etymology: 13 C. OF. Coveitier. L. Cupiditas.
For a long time I wallowed in my covetousness of the mundane, never satisfied I longed for a simple moment. A time to breathe without worry, a hope, a happiness registered in my bones.